”Be careful, you might get hurt,” ”be careful, that weight might be too heavy,” ”be careful you don’t get too muscular,” and an abundance of other ”be careful’s” are words that we have become accustomed to hearing on a seemingly daily basis. These condescending and utterly ridiculous words litter the comments section of fitness-related videos and photos that we post on social media. Other times, they are delivered to us verbally. Let me put it bluntly. We, women, are not fragile fucking flowers who should look, act, or work out a certain way. We are strong, bold, intelligent, and competent, and should be treated accordingly. I know that many of my male counterparts feel the same way, and show us the respect we deserve. While I’m sure that some of these “concerned citizens,” both males and females, mean well, their words are painfully condescending, sexist, and laughable. We do not need to be careful, nor do we wish to be treated like damsels in distress.
Other than one time in my early 20s when an old-school bodybuilder who reeked of arrogance, ignorance, and cheap cologne, felt the need to march up to me and suggest that I should be careful and use a lighter weight, I have never had another person question me, at least in person. I had no time for his antics and sent him on his way. I am also lucky as unlike many of us, I rarely get bombarded with these types of remarks below my videos on social media, but when I do, I alternate between rolling my eyes, laughing out loud, and wanting to tear my fucking hair out.
Unfortunately, I often see these insulting and uneducated comments below videos or photos we post. Much of the time, we are performing exercises with impeccable form, or close to it. Unlike many men, we seem to lift a little less with our ego, and prioritize our form and safety, and we can still achieve this while pushing ourselves and lifting heavy weights. In fact, some of us are world class weight lifters, other athletes, or coaches who are extremely well-versed in strength training, and have little to no history of injuring ourselves due to not “being careful.”
Par for the course, most of these comments and concerns come from arm-chair ”coaches” who either have no experience in strength training, or coaches who lack knowledge and credibility. The legitimate, and often world renowned coaches, will rarely, if ever make these remarks, as they simply know better. Real coaches know that we can be insanely strong and highly conditioned, can perform extremely advanced exercises, and can do so with an extremely large amount of weight. They treat us with the respect we deserve, and treat us as equals.
While I’m on my soap box, any legitimate coach knows that there is no one definition of proper form. With 100% of exercises, while there are some glaring examples of bad form and what not to do, there is no template for ”perfect” form. Perfect form does not exist. In fact, the form that is conducive to achieving optimal levels of performance, health, and aesthetics, varies on an individual basis, and depends on many different factors. These arm-chair ”coaches” and “concerned citizens” need to stop shoving their ill-advised, uneducated, and often sexist, views down our throats by insisting that 100% of the population should look the same when they are performing a particular exercise, or that we, women, should be careful. We are more than capable of determining when an exercise is too advanced for our current physical capabilities, and we are more than capable of selecting a weight that will help us achieve our individual goals, and while not jeopardizing our health. Thanks for the concern though.
I can safely say that you won’t see these comments below videos of men performing the same exercises. While men often earn popularity, ”likes,” and bro fist bumps, for lifting heavy ass weights, and in some instances, with piss poor form, we only seem to earn praise and popularity by looking and acting a certain way. This usually involves being as ”feminine,” ”sexy,” and ”damsel-in-distress-like’’ as possible. If we defy this societal norm, and want to be strong, fit, and muscular, or if we are not ”model thin,” or do not possess a ”photoshopped hourglass figure,” we are often bombarded with countless insulting, and often downright cruel comments on social media, or are frequently warned to ”be careful you don’t get too muscular,” ”be careful or you will look masculine,” ”be careful you don’t consume too many calories,” ”be careful you don’t gain weight, try this detox.” So many ill-advised and insulting ”be careful’s,” and this needs to fucking stop now!!
We are not weak, delicate, and fragile flowers who need to be told how we should look, act, feel, express ourselves, work out, and eat. Whatever your definition of body positivity is, own it. Whatever workout style makes you thrive, both physically and mentally, own it. Whatever lifestyle makes you feel happy, energetic, confident, inspired, empowered, fulfilled, and excited to conquer your day and entire life, just fucking own it. Don’t let the naysayers, arm-chair ”coaches,” or internet “figure competition judges” make you question yourself, or blunt your spirits. We, women, deserve better.
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