One day when I was coaching, I started to notice a very subtle tingling sensation down the back of my left leg. I had just finished a very easy 30 minute recovery ride on the spin bike, so I thought nothing of it, and tried to put my very overactive mind to rest. After having lived through the five year aftermath of my car accident, having dealt with every imaginable symptom under the sun, and not being able to find a single medical professional who could tell me WHY, I had become very accustomed to assuming the worst, as during this time the worst case scenario had almost always played out. Analyzing my body and symptoms, and trying to diagnose myself as nobody else could, basically became a full time obsession. It made living life, and doing my job, close to impossible. I made it my mission to never experience this physical, mental, and financial chaos again.
Chaos Strikes
Several hours later, I was at home and excruciating pain that was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before completely took over. I am very hesitant to throw around the word pain, especially since there are many different reasons for pain, and in recent days there have been some extremely heated internet debates, but I am going to use this word as many people can relate to it. Essentially, I began to experience the most intense muscle spasms in my entire left glute. Once this happened, my hamstring, calf, and muscles in my foot decided to join the symphony of spasms. As the spasms became more intense, my sciatic nerve was not pleased, the most debilitating nerve pain kicked in, and completely robbed me of my ability to function. I spent the next three days lying in a fetal position on my couch as I could not move, and I was unable to stand or walk for more than five to ten seconds at a time as the crushing muscle spasms and nerve pain were too much to take.
To put this in perspective, I am extremely tough, and you could also say stubborn. For the first three years after my car accident, I was still playing soccer and was taking a massive amount of Ibuprofen’s in order to survive the practices and games. The final straw, and what propelled me to finally throw in the towel and stop playing, in the very beginning of a playoff game, I went to kick the soccer ball. The ball took a funny hop on the turf, I miskicked the ball and struck the side of it. I immediately heard a loud pop, and knew I’d torn my hamstring really badly. Despite the injury, and even though I was playing on one leg, I carried on and managed to last a full game, plus an extra thirty minute overtime period. I mean, it was a cup game. After the game, part of my hamstring was black, and the recovery time for this injury was over 14 weeks. The intensity of this injury, and the limitations to my training and life, paled in comparison to what I just experienced. It wasn’t even close.
Forced Into Living A Very Different Lifestyle
For about three weeks, I was mainly confined to my couch. After about a week and a half, while the nerve pain remained consistent, luckily the severity of the muscle spasms decreased. I was finally able to find several positions that brought me a bit of relief, and I was now able to stand or walk for about a minute at a time before the crushing spasms and nerve pain defeated me. I can tolerate almost anything. This was entirely different. I confess, my “relief” position was being on all fours, or in the fetal position. I’m not even joking. While I was easily able to get into these positions in the comfort of my home, it wasn’t exactly practical or possible when I was attempting to get groceries, drive, shower, or for the most part, coach. Luckily, I was able to sit for my coaching, so I didn’t have to miss much time, but on some occasions I did have to get on all fours as I couldn’t ride out the intensity of the muscle spasms and the accompanying nerve pain.
The pain was by far the worst overnight, and first thing in the morning. I basically didn’t sleep for close to three weeks. I’d maybe get an hour here and there, but that was all. The lack of sleep definitely took its toll, both mentally and physically. I became extremely depressed and anxious, and I could not think rationally, at least most of the time. I also wasted many hours numbing myself with solitaire as I just couldn’t get myself going in any way. While I knew my thoughts, and feeling totally stuck, were due to extreme exhaustion and physical duress, and I kept telling myself “this too shall pass,” it didn’t feel like it at the time.
When things really started getting scary, one night I was lying in bed and noticed that my lateral leg, foot and three outer toes were noticeably colder than the other, and they were somewhat numb. For close to two weeks, my one calf was in a full blown spasm that just would not let up. The spasm intensified any time I tried to stand or walk. Maybe the best way to describe the feeling, my calf felt like it was in a vice that was gripping as hard and aggressively as humanly possible. While I still had feeling in my leg and foot, and knew I was getting blood flow, I was well aware I was getting less circulation in this leg and foot than the other. I was really scared, and felt very alone.
I was also pretty forced into isolating myself as I could not sit, stand, or walk for more than a minute or two at a time, so I could not go anywhere, and I could not commit to doing anything socially. I spent the bulk of my time at my place, and some at my mom’s. This led to a lot of time to overthink and catastrophize. Again, lack of sleep did not help. I kept thinking, “not again.” I have worked so hard to overcome the damage I sustained from the car accident, and those five awful years. I take great pride in this, and haven’t had to worry about my body or health in years. My training is so liberating and empowering. I can focus on pushing my limits, chasing goals, and most importantly, having fun and playing around. I couldn’t imagine having to deal with any more uncertainty or limitations, and in this instance, debilitating pain and immobility. Even with the car accident, at least I could perform basic daily tasks and look after myself.
Putting The Pieces Together
While I suspected I knew what triggered all of this, and it was not related to my back in any way, of course when many people think of severe sciatica, and this applies to many medical professionals, they automatically think disc issue. This is their bias and “go-to.” As a result, this was definitely in the back of my mind. I binge re-read Back Mechanic and most of The Gift Of Injury from front to back, and for the first week I spent a lot of time attempting to follow the protocol for disc herniation rehab. But even then, I was unable to walk, and attempting to get into the bird dog or side plank positions would cause my glute to go into a full blown spasm, and in turn would send the nerve pain down my leg. One week later, I resumed my back rehab and did so for two weeks, and it made no difference in my recovery. I was beyond frustrated, and was feeling extremely low.
Finally, at the end of the second week, and these two weeks felt like an eternity, a physio listened to me and addressed the glute spasm, which was clearly obliterating my sciatic nerve, and was also impacting my sacrum. I had a lot of discomfort in my sacrotuberous ligament and all around my sacrum, my sacrum would occasionally “self adjust,” which is obviously not normal, and my entire left glute was on fire. When my sacrum and glute were addressed, instead of the apparent disc issue, I finally started to notice some progress. I got a second opinion from someone I trust, and she confirmed my suspicions. She was extremely thorough and also put me through some tests to rule out a disc issue, even though she said she knew it was not disc-related when I told her all of my symptoms. Prior to this, I was also lucky enough to talk to Stu McGill on the phone. He gave me some tests I could do to see if it was in fact a disc issue. I passed all of them with flying colors, as I suspected I would. Unfortunately, since my sciatic nerve had been crushed for over 2 weeks, there is significant irritation that needs to be undone.
One Step At A Time
It has been close to a month since this happened. Yesterday I was able to go for a small walk for the first time. Prior to this, I had been totally sedentary and was averaging around 1500 steps per day. In the first week, I totalled 7900 total steps for the entire week, and the following week I hit just over 10 000. To put this in perspective, on a low movement day I generally hit well over 5000 steps, and on a higher movement day I tend to hit well over 10 000 steps. In a day! As I am progressing pretty well, especially now that the cause of my issue has been addressed, I’m hoping to be able to get back to running, other forms of conditioning, and strength training for my lower body, sometime this week. However, I am going to listen to my body, and will practice what I preach.
This ordeal has given me a much greater appreciation for simply being able to do basic daily tasks. For much of the month, I didn’t even think about training, or more like the lack thereof. I just wanted to be able to live normally. The few people I told, some kept saying how hard it must be to not be able to train the way I’m accustomed to. Aside from the occasional moment, especially in the first few weeks, this had not even crossed my mind. I was really worried I’d have to drop out of a collaboration product I am honoured to be a part of, I was extremely apprehensive I’d have to cancel an upcoming trip I’m really looking forward to, or at least I would be a total drag, and I was very fearful I’d have to put my entire life on hold and basically stop living. Again.
Lessons Learned
Why am I sharing all of this? Before I say why, I will reveal that doing so makes me feel very uncomfortable, and I contemplated keeping this relatively private. But writing down my thoughts, and getting them out in the open, has been somewhat cathartic. While I know injuries are a part of life, and impact everyone, I suppose a small part of me felt like an imposter. While I no longer feel this way, and know my temporary bout of imposter syndrome stemmed from severe exhaustion, relentless agony, an inability to perform basic daily tasks, lack of movement, and uncertainty, my pride took a bit of a hit. I am not used to being totally incapacitated, and again, I promised myself I would never feel the way I did after my car accident. Most importantly, I am opening up because we all have our struggles, and nobody is invincible. Perhaps my words will help somebody.
I talk about this all the time, and won’t stop. When it comes to your training, make using good form your top priority. While I am a stickler for using my best form in my own training, and with 100% of the people I coach, I suspect the cause of my injury was attempting to do two extra reps of heavyish negative front squats I probably had no business doing. I hit my first rep and went to my full depth, which I always do. This rep felt awesome and was surprisingly easy, so I decided to do two more reps, but was mentally complacent and only went to about parallel as I was playing around with this depth. Don’t even ask me why… Since I am not used to this shallower depth as my optimal depth is well below parallel, while I did not notice at the time, I think I must have compensated in a small way and altered my mechanics, and likely shifted some of my weight to my left leg. While I squatted on a Friday afternoon, and the major issues didn’t arise until the following Tuesday afternoon, my left glute was noticeably pissed off on Saturday morning. I have absolutely learned my lesson, and will never take shortcuts again.
Ironically enough, shortly before this whole ordeal, I was planning on writing an article that emphasizes the extreme importance of focusing on what you CAN do when you are dealing with an injury, or struggle of any kind. Over this past month, while I had some pretty big meltdowns or “poor me” moments, because I made a massive effort on focusing on what I CAN do, versus fixating on my limitations, I came out on top. I made some significant progress in some aspects of my life. I also gained some extremely valuable and life-changing lessons, and learned a lot about myself. I am not quite 100% yet, both physically and mentally, but hope to be soon. Once this experience is completely in the rearview mirror, I know I will be really grateful for this trying time, and for how much it has forced me to grow.
Over the past month, here is what I COULD do, and where my focus was:
#1) Avoiding anything that hurt/delayed my recovery:
This part is pretty straightforward, and applies to all of the categories I discussed below. I don’t know if you’ve heard the saying “avoid picking the scab?” This is exactly what I did. Well, for the most part. While I made a few mistakes that set me back, most notably, attempting to nerve floss long before I was ready, I did everything in my power not to exacerbate my injury, and to help myself recover as quickly as possible. I am actually pretty proud of myself as the “old” me would have attempted to push my boundaries very prematurely, and would have experienced numerous setbacks.
#2) Training:
For close to a month, I was not able to do any training for my lower body, no conditioning, and not even any walking. Here is what I could do:
LOTS of pull-ups
After the initial 3 day “crisis” phase where I was not able to move at all, I decided I wanted to attempt to do some pull-ups and upper body bodyweight movements. I was extremely cautious and only did movements that caused no pain, both during and after. For the first week, I was not able to engage my glute as this immediately led to a severe spasm and subsequent nerve pain, so I had to adapt my body positioning and kept my glute and lower body relaxed. This made each rep more challenging, but allowed to perform the movement pain-free. I did a high volume of pull-ups and chin-ups every other day, usually reaching about 120-150 reps per workout. Due to this high volume, I used different grips and did regular pull-ups, neutral grip pull-ups, and chin-ups. While I won’t test my PR until I am 100%, I can tell I have dramatically improved my ability to perform this exercise.
Bodyweight pushing movements
Due to my severely irritated sciatic nerve, picking up weights was an issue, so I did not do any heavy weighted exercises. Plus, I was playing it safe just in case I did in fact have a herniated disc. I kept myself sane, and tried to keep my strength up, by doing a lot of different push-up variations, and lots of hanging triceps dips. At least I was able to do this. Again, since I was not able to engage my glute I had to adapt my form a slight amount, but I was able to perform a very high volume of bodyweight pushing movements, and did them every other day.
Accessory exercises
Due to my many limitations, but especially since I was performing an extremely high number of pull-ups and chin-ups every other day, I increased the frequency and volume of my elbow and shoulder health exercises. Each day, I would perform several exercises that addressed shoulder and scapular controlled mobility, and one exercise for elbow health. Also, to add to the overall volume of my workouts, I performed some isolation exercises for my biceps, triceps, and shoulders. I incorporated some “bodybuilding-style” exercises into my routine. I definitely look forward to getting back to performing my staple compound movements. While these isolation exercises can absolutely serve a purpose, I REALLY do not enjoy doing them.
Core training
After the first week, most days I did some basic core training, including dead bugs, band resisted psoas marches, front and side planks (15 second holds), and bird dogs.
Mobility
Since I was basically immobile for a month, I did more mobility work than usual. I did a lot of cat/camels, t-spine rotations, cobras, and other basic mobility drills. Anything that involved spinal flexion, extension, and rotation felt great, and was one of many reasons I was fairly confident I did not have a disc issue. Due to the severe nerve irritation, particularly the peroneal nerve which is a branch of the sciatic nerve, I was limited in most static stretching I could do as attempting to stretch most areas of my lower body would trigger the nerve pain. The sciatic nerve in my glute and hamstring has calmed down at a much faster rate.
Posture (both resting and during exercises)
This was extremely important for me. Since I couldn’t stand or sit for long periods of time, I mixed up how I would rest between sets, and the postures I would use while performing many of my exercises. During certain exercises, I would kneel (half kneeling on my good side felt best), tall kneel, or sit. Between sets, sometimes I would rest on all fours, other times I would sit, and sometimes I would hang from a bar. Basically, I avoided any positions that triggered my symptoms. Again, I did my best not to “pick the scab.”
#3) Work:
For the first three days, as I was confined to my couch and had to remain on my side, doing any work was close to impossible. Once I was finally able to lie on my back without triggering the muscle spasms and nerve pain, I was able to use my computer. Up until a few days ago, sitting was not happening due to the nerve pain.
I have been working on several new projects/products. While I had made a dent in one prior to this saga, in order to distract myself from the pain, I binge worked and have nearly finished both of these new programs. I still need to film some videos, but once I’m better I will get this done fairly quickly. I think both of these programs are pretty awesome and extremely comprehensive, and I’m really excited. Due to my extreme focus on my work, I got more work done in this amount of time than I have in weeks. So, this is one positive.
I also got some work done on a collaboration product I’m working on. While I have not been able to film yet, I will soon.
I spent a lot of time working on weekly features, and some other articles. I am very glad I have so many videos in my database, as I’ve been forced to recycle content for the past few weeks.
#4 Education:
I admit, for the first few weeks I spent a tremendous amount of time reading up on disc herniations, and extreme sciatic nerve pain. As I mentioned, I read Back Mechanic again, and a lot of The Gift Of Injury. I also read many studies. Again, I was fairly certain I hadn’t injured my back, but of course I hadn’t received a conclusive answer, and there is never any harm in more education.
#5) Nutrition:
During this time, I did my best to eat as well as possible. Unfortunately, due to the pain and lack of appetite, my inability to stand for long enough to prepare a proper meal or go out to buy groceries, and the stress, I know I’ve lost a bit of weight. Even though I was totally sedentary, my caloric needs are still relatively high, and I wasn’t meeting these needs. I plan on gaining this weight back as quickly as possible. As I knew I wasn’t eating as much as usual, I tried to make every calorie count and had a lot of shakes. I added in more fruit and vegetables so I could get more nutrients, and I did take more vitamins and supplements than I usually do. I also had as much protein as I could. Basically, I did my best.
#6) Sleep:
While I was waking up every hour or so due to the pain, my quality of sleep was terrible. However, in order to help my body heal as quickly as possible, in an attempt to remain as sane as possible, and also due to the sheer exhaustion, I aimed to get as much sleep as I could. There were many nights where I was in bed by 7-8 pm, and on some days I wouldn’t get out of bed until 7 0r 8 am. Usually I’m up around 6am or earlier, but I really tried to prioritize my sleep.
Conclusion
While all of our circumstances are different, there will generally be some common underlying themes. If you are going through an injury or other struggle, focusing on what you CAN do is so important, both for your physical and mental health. In terms of your training, ask yourself, what can you do to work around your injury? Can you prioritize other areas of your training? Can you modify or adapt what you are doing? Can you address any issues that might have led you to sustain the injury? The answer will likely be yes. As there is much more to life than training, are there other areas of your life you can really focus on? Is there a hobby you want to take up or spend more time doing? Is there a new book (or books) you want to read, or a tv series you want to watch? Can you spend this extra downtime with friends or loved ones? The second you start to focus on the CAN’s, versus fixating on your limitations, you will likely be amazed at how much better you feel, and how much less soul zapping and daunting your journey to regaining your health is. Remember, comparison is the thief of joy, so do not rob yourself of the many gifts life has to offer by comparing your current self to your “regular” self. You deserve far better.
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